HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
