Im at strip club and am horny
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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