If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
