So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
