you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
