Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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