I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Randomize
