Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
