It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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