i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
