you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
