my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
