he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize