That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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