so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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