Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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