I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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