I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
