didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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