Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
