oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
