Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
