You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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