Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
