Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
