just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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