I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
