GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
