How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
