Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
