I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
