I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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