Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
