apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
