you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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