Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
