I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize