ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
