I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
