Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
