You made me cry and you don't even care
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
