I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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