well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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