I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Randomize
