Sry I called you an 8
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
