Are we in a gay sports bar?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
