so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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