I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
