hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
