Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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