Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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