You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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