i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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