She announced her abortion via fbk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize