after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
