Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
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Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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