ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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