their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
