Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
