Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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