If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
