Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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