We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
