i barfeds in our rink
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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