yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The beer is more important than you right now.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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