at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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